Don’t Mom Alone, Mom Together

I’m not the first to say it, but some of us need to hear it again – Don’t mom alone, mom together.

There I was, six weeks post-partum, with my precious newborn asleep in the bassinet next to me, and I couldn’t stop my tears. I had this overwhelming sense of anxiety, and I didn’t know how I was going to care for my newborn all day by myself.

It’s no secret that motherhood is an all-consuming, full-time, and exhausting role. At the same time, it has profound rewards. It is simultaneously a calling and a blessing (Proverbs 31:28-29). That said, it can also be very isolating and overwhelming.

This is especially true for first-time moms who are bringing home a newborn baby and trying to figure it out. Caring for a completely dependent infant is a 24-hour-a-day gig that often makes even just getting out of the house a major task. If you aren’t careful, those sleepless nights, postpartum hormones, and the needs of a newborn baby can quickly drain you as a mom.

Don’t Mom Alone

A key to avoiding loneliness is to proactively develop relationships so that you have people checking on you, helping you, and who are just a phone call away.

That day that I didn’t want to get out of bed, when my irrational brain was telling me I didn’t know how to care for my baby (mind you, my college degree is in Child Development, that’s how irrational a postpartum mom can be), my first call was to my best friend.  She dropped what she was doing, left work, and came and spent the day with me to prove it would be ok.  Before she left my house, she had rallied a fantastic team of women from our church who signed up to check on me and bring me coffee or lunch every day for two weeks.  For those two weeks, if I was having a “moment,” I knew I could look forward to someone coming by during the day to check on me.  Those ladies ministered to me in my time of need, and I am forever grateful.

We weren’t meant to do this on our own.  They say it takes a village, and it really does.  We truly are better together.  Finding a sense of community with others walking through the same stage of life as you or have already been through what you are going through is essential to navigating motherhood.

Find Community

Where do you find community?  There are many options, but most require intentionally seeking them out and participation.  Finding a playgroup or mommy meet-up is an excellent place to start.  Our church offers a park gathering and an open play event each month during the school year.  If you want to find out more about these groups, visit our website.  These are perfect for mommies to get out of the house and connect with each other.  It’s helpful to have people in relatable situations to share, encourage, and comfort one another through the challenges of motherhood.

Additionally, you need women who are a life stage ahead of you.  Many have survived what you are walking through and can offer wisdom, advice, and hope that you will make it, too!  These relationships can come from Bible study groups, book clubs, fitness classes, neighbors, or family.  The key is not to be afraid to ask for help.  These women want to support you, but you have to let them.

Another way to find community is through virtual groups and social media.  I am a member of several groups of like-minded mommies.  These groups continue to be valuable when I have a question about my child or parenting.  It is invaluable to have a place where I can ask if I need to visit the doctor because my child has a strange rash or if it’s normal for my two-year-old to throw daily tantrums because I won’t give him donuts.  You can even find specific groups that deal with topics like breastfeeding, speech delays, ADHD, moms of multiples, etc.  These groups support each other in different but beneficial ways.  The members won’t hug you or drink coffee with you, but they provide anonymity when needed and specific advice on a number of topics.

Mom Together

As your children grow, you will need other moms and women.  I promise, it is life-giving to have other women pouring into you, offering resources, wisdom, and often sanity when required.

After those two weeks of women checking on me and my newborn son, I was in a better place.  I was ending my maternity leave and was ready to return to work.  I had found a rhythm and had been reminded of who God had called me to be as a mommy, thanks to an army of women who pointed me back to Jesus in my time of need.

So, regardless of your stage in motherhood—whether you’re just getting started or you’re further down the road—find a way to surround yourself with other women who will be a valuable source for you. And even better, as you grow in your role as a mother, you will, in turn, become an encouragement to other mommies walking behind you on the road.

Don’t mom alone. Let’s mom together!