We’ve all heard the phrase “failure to launch” to describe young men and women who don’t make the transition into responsible adulthood. Unfortunately, many parents inadvertently keep their children from growing up and moving on due to overprotection and lack of intentionality. Whether your child is going to college, joining the military, or entering the workforce, you need to be intentional about successfully launching them toward becoming a healthy, responsible adult.

Be a good coach

As the parent of an older teen on the verge of adulthood, you are a very important coach. You can motivate, encourage, challenge and advise… but you can’t force. You can help them articulate what they believe, challenge their thinking, remind them of the “basics” already learned during earlier years… but the time has come for your child to truly own his or her own beliefs and choices. Provide a listening ear as they wrestle with and possibly question the values they learned as a child. Try to maintain a strong relationship that includes frequent, open dialogue.

Give perspective to big questions

During the transition into adulthood, your son or daughter will face big questions including: Where should I go to college? What kind of work should I do? Where should I live? What should I do with my life? Who should I marry? Direct your teen back to overarching principles from God’s Word. One of the last things King David said to his son, Solomon (1 Chronicles 28:9) provides a model for parents advising their emerging adults: “And you, my son, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind.” In addition to the practical advice parents need to give related to setting goals, finding a job and choosing a spouse, we must also promote and emphasize basic Christian life principles.

Give a vision for marriage and family

Parents sometimes go to extremes to help a child prepare for college or the workforce but fail to prepare them for the important work of marriage and family. While some are called to life-long singleness, many young people will eventually get married and have a family. Encourage your teen to seek the Lord in discovering what God's plan is for their future. You have a vital part to play in helping your child prepare to leave your home and establish their own.

Keep letting out line

You can’t turn loose of the rope all at once! Leaving home is a process. It’s important that you assist your young adult in becoming increasingly independent over a period of several years. Talk about the challenges and opportunities of adulthood. Discuss various scenarios and potential options for dealing with them. Help your young adult understand the principle of “opportunity cost.” Saying “Yes” to one thing means saying “No” to other things. Continue to help your son or daughter own the consequences of their choices while the stakes are still lower and give them space to fail while you are still close by to help pick them up and learn from their failures.

Prepare them

Set your child up to succeed during this time of transition.

• Plan a special time together to discuss the Before You Leave card included with this kit. Use the conversation to identify areas that might require some extra coaching before they leave.
• Choose a particular book or resource to go through together. Schedule coffee dates to talk through specific topics.
• Write a launch letter to encourage your child. Let them know that you are praying for them during this season of transition. A sample letter is included with this kit (Above)