I can still hear my dad’s boots walking across the entryway to my childhood home.  It’s a sound for me that brought joy because Daddy was home!  I haven’t heard that sound in 30+ years, but it still makes me smile and brings peace to my spirit.  I didn’t grow up in a perfect home, but my parents provided space for us that was safe, a home that was very consistent, and a home that we always knew we were loved and would be cared for.   In that spot on Norma Circle, in a small, simple home my dad’s military boots made a distinctive sound on the floor because of our pier and beam foundation – it was recognizable and it meant that Daddy was home!  For me, Daddy being home was always a good thing. I had consistent parents.

My parents were leaders in our church growing up and my brother, Todd, and I spent much of our childhood in the halls of Highland Terrace Baptist Church.  It was a place that invested in us, loved us, and pointed us, without fail, toward Jesus.  I put my faith in Jesus on the left end of the fifth pew on the “piano side” of that church in February 1987.  My parents had talked to me about following Jesus for many years and I had a great understanding of what Jesus had done for me and why.  I knew what it looked like, because I had watched my family live out their faith in front of me, especially my brother.  But on that cool Sunday morning, as an eleven-year-old, it all clicked, and I knew I was ready to follow Jesus.

I’ve said for many years that understanding God as a loving, compassionate, and good father (and, yes, a father that even disciplines his children) was always easy because I had a dad that modeled God’s love for me.  Having a stable home is something that I was grateful for, but probably took for granted – but now, as a youth pastor, I appreciate it even more as I walk with teenagers through the many challenges that life tends to bring.

It seems that often parents downplay the role they play in a child’s life, particularly once that child becomes a teenager.  Research continues to bear out that parents have more influence in the life of their teenager than anyone else – even if those teens would never admit it.  The role we, as parents, play is just as important as our kids get older, it just looks different than when they were toddlers.

Consistency is still key – but now it may be in helping them to find a drivetime rhythm on the way to school or a homework routine after a busy day.  Your presence really matters – but now it may be that you keep showing up for those ballgames or finding that elusive night on the family calendar that you can all eat dinner at the same time. You don’t have to protect them from the same things you did when they were young, but they still need your watch care and protection, especially when they have difficulty learning to say “no” and are worn out.   You don’t have to sit together on the same pew as you did when they were the “new kid on the pew,” but they still need to know that church and faith are an important part of who you are (…and some days they will want to sit with you). You have to be consistent parents.

I always knew where my parents would be when I looked into the stands, I knew that Daddy would be waiting in his recliner until I arrived home at night, I knew that even when they let me stay out late on Saturday night that I was expected be at church on Sunday, and I always, always knew they loved me and they wanted the very best for me.

Parenting isn’t easy, but I’m grateful for consistent parents.  I pray you and I will provide the safety and consistency that my parents did.

PS. Don’t forget – Youth Bonfire is this Saturday night!  Get your best flannel on and join us for s’mores, snacks, bonfire and more! We want to see you all there!  Click here for all the details!